Why coping skills for anxiety might be keeping you STUCK
Do you ever find yourself wondering, if I’m doing all the deep breathing and other coping skills then, why am I STILL so friggen anxious?
Here comes the plot twist.
You’re actually overusing your coping skills.
Don’t worry--I’ll explain.
Using your coping skills like deep breathing when you’re anxious CAN make you less anxious.
But if you’re ALWAYS using them, you’re brain learns that anxiety is dangerous and should be avoided.
So you might be wondering, then why do I do that?...
Well, it makes sense. Because you’ve been taught by every therapist to use coping skills to regulate emotions.
But for anxiety, this can fuel the fear of anxiety itself by avoiding ever experiencing it.
What’s this all mean for you?
So, if you wanna truly take your life back from anxiety, then you need to practice letting yourself feel anxious. To let your brain learn that you CAN handle anxiety!
How are you supposed to do this?
Next time you start to feel anxious try to let that anxiety be there without jumping right into deep breathing (or whatever coping skill you use).
And if you’re thinking, “that sounds...hard”...
Sometimes, that can be too big a shift to start. Instead, try to delay using it for 5 minutes, and then 10, and so on.
Ok, ok,...so what’s the point?
The way you RESPOND to anxiety matters. And if you’re always responding by using a coping skill, then you will always have to use that coping skill.
And if you’re thinking, “that makes sense... but I’m a nervous to make that change”...
Don’t worry…I’ve got you covered.
Schedule a free intro call so I can help you step-by-step.
I don’t have to tell you that using coping skills like deep breathing can be helpful from time to time when you’re navigating stressful events.
But if every time you experience anxiety (or think you might), you’d rather run for the hills… then you might not need any more “practice” of your coping skills.
The thing is, you’re a champ:
-You’re already an expert at deep breathing techniques.
-You’ve got detailed self awareness of your anxiety patterns.
-And you’re super motivated to keep working on it!
So…why are you still stuck in an anxiety and panic attack cycle?
Here’s the part no one talks about: using coping skills every time anxiety shows up isn’t actually “coping.” In fact, it might be fueling the fire.
And it’s an easy trap to fall into.
The tricky part is that if you always avoid or try to get rid of anxiety it has two major impacts that keep you stuck:
your amygdala learns from your response that panic or anxiety is dangerous and it will incorrectly set this alarm off again in the future
you rob your amygdala the chance to learn that the panic attack is uncomfortable but not dangerous AND that you can handle it
Because LEARNING TO CHANGE YOUR RESPONSE TO ANXIETY AND PANIC is what will take you from:
constantly being on the lookout for anxiety (because you’re brain & body are scared to feel it)
to
actually living your life in the moment and doing the things you truly value.
Are ya with me?