4 Tips For Improving Communication As A Couple

Something just isn't working like it was in the past. You're not really sure what went wrong. You and your partner used to always be on the same page. Sometimes, you'd be able to finish each other's sentences. You didn't always agree on everything, but you were able to talk through any disagreements, misunderstandings, or differences.

You used to be like salt and pepper, two peas in a pod, the peanut butter to their jelly. But now you're not sure that you're mixing together as well as you once thought. You're starting to feel a little bit more like oil and vinegar.

All you can think about is how much your relationship has changed. Whether it's been months or years, you can't help but notice the changes, especially when it comes to communication, between you and your partner.

Here are 4 tips for improving communication as a couple.

1. Communication Involves More Than Just Talking

When you think of communication, you probably think of two people talking. The truth is that communication requires a lot more than just talking. Listening is equally, if not more important, than talking. Make sure that you and your partner are both getting a chance to speak your mind as well as taking the time to listen to the other person.

Whether you're having a mutual and positive conversation or if you're arguing about something, no one should feel like they're not being listened to, heard, or respected. Communication is a two-way street. When the other person is talking, make sure that you're fully listening, leaning in, tuning out other distractions, and not interrupting your partner.

2. Choose Your Words Carefully

When you're younger, you're taught to think before you speak. You can probably think of a time when your parents said this to you and you or a sibling rolled their eyes. Well, it's time to actually listen to that advice and put it to good use. When you're communicating, it's extremely important to choose your words carefully, especially when it comes to conflict and conflict resolution.

If you're using words or sentences that start with "you", your partner may feel the need to immediately go into defense mode. Instead, try telling them how you feel by starting your sentences with "I". Your partner will be a lot more willing to hear what you have to say instead of feeling like they need to defend themselves.

3. Stay in the Present Moment

When you're communicating with your partner, especially when it comes to airing out any grievances, it can be easy to pull examples or disagreements from the past. You may even want to bring up a situation that has already been resolved. Try to leave the past exactly where it is, there's no reason to bring the past into the present moment if something has been resolved.

Don't add fuel to an already burning fire. Being mindful and staying on track by keeping the conversation moving forward instead of backward can help you and your partner resolve things in a healthy and positive way.

4. Seek Additional Support

If communication is starting to become a problem in your relationship, you're not alone. Communication problems are a lot more common than you think. Communication issues can happen in the workplace, in your personal life with family and friends, and even in your romantic relationship. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.

Working with a licensed and trained therapist can provide a nice outside third party's perspective on your relationship. You and your partner will be able to work through any communication issues in a safe and secure environment. Reach out today to set up a consultation for couples therapy.